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Laws of the land (Read 37 times)
Don Parscale
Wind Bag
Sponsoring Member

I Love Utah!

Posts: 1253
Tucson, AZ
Gender: male
Laws of the land
01/06/20 at 15:01:45
>>                 .Law of Mechanical Repair -
>>                 After your hands become coated with grease,
>>                 your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to
>>                 pee.  
>>                 2.Law of Gravity -
>>                 Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped,
>>                 will roll to the least accessible place in the
>>                 universe.
>>                 3.Law of Probability -
>>                 The probability of being watched is directly
>>                 proportional to the stupidity of your act.
>>                 4.Law of Random Numbers -
>>                 If you dial a wrong number, you never get a
>>                 busy signal; someone always answers.
>>                 5.Variation Law -
>>                 If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one
>>                 you were in will always move faster than the
>>                 one you are in now.
>>                 6.Law of the Bath -
>>                 When the body is fully immersed in water,
>>                 the telephone will ring.
>>                 8.Law of the Result -
>>                 When you try to prove to someone that
>>                 a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
>>                 9.Law of Biomechanics -
>>                 The severity of the itch is inversely
>>                 proportional to the reach.
>>                 10.Law of the Theatre & Football Stadium -
>>                 At any event, the people whose seats are
>>                 farthest from the aisle, always arrive last.
>>                 They are the ones who will leave their seats
>>                 several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet
>>                 and who leave early before the end of the
>>                 performance or the game is over. The folks
>>                 in the aisle seats come early, never move
>>                 once, have long gangly legs or big bellies
>>                 and stay to the bitter end of the performance.
>>                 The aisle people also are very surly folk.
>>                 11.The Coffee Law -
>>                 As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
>>                 your boss will ask you to do something which
>>                 will last until the coffee is cold.
>>                 12.Murphy's Law of Lockers -
>>                 If there are only 2 people in a locker room,
>>                 they will have adjacent lockers.
>>                 13.Law of Physical Surfaces -
>>                 The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich
>>                 landing face down on a floor are directly
>>                 correlated to the newness and cost of the
>>                 carpet or rug
>>                 14.Law of Logical Argument -
>>                 Anything is possible IF you don't know
>>                 what you are talking about.
>>                 15. Law of Physical Appearance -
>>                 If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
>>                 16.The 50-50-90 Law
>>                 Whenever there's a 50-50 chance of getting something right,
>>                 there's a 90% probability that you'll get it wrong.
>>                 17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -
>>                 As soon as you find a product that you really
>>                 like, they will stop making it OR the store will
>>                 stop selling it!
>>                 18.Doctors' Law -
>>                 If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go
>>                 to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel
>>                 better. But don't make an appointment and you'll
>>                 stay sick.
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